Potty talk

4 Aug

I am at my father’s work, watching him flush a toilet.

A pressure assist flushing toilet to be precise. The kind that uses a small water pump to boost its power. A super flusher.

My father shows me the inner workings of the tank and then the moment arrives — he releases the handle.

“That’s a little disappointing,” he admits as we watch the water drain away, and I think of Olympia Dukakis’s character in Moonstruck saying – “Loretta, your life’s going down the toilet.”

One bathroom in serious need of a remodel

One bathroom in serious need of a remodel

“Really,” my father continues, very dismayed. “This one isn’t selling it.” He’s determined that I see another pressure assist in action, and he’s trying to remember where they are throughout this building. So, we walk back into the chapel.

Did I forget to mention that we were in a chapel bathroom, behind an altar? Because, of course, my father works at the mother house of a religious order.

That means nuns.

Which this is why I keep looking over my shoulder, hoping no one is coming to say the Rosary while we are flushing away. Because we would be THOSE PEOPLE remarking over bathroom appliances while someone else is trying to converse with God.

Ah, home improvement. In my family, we’re a little addicted.

The upstairs bathroom needed a new light, a new fan, and the ceiling patched.

The upstairs bathroom needed a new light, a new fan, and the ceiling patched.

I usually explain my parents by saying they were HGTV before HGTV existed, because they bought a 200-year-old farmhouse 37 years ago and have been restoring and remodeling it ever since.

I like to think I’m not as hardcore as them. I’m not, really. I own very few power tools, for example. Maybe a drill?  But here it is, the waning weeks of summer break, and I am painting the upstairs bathroom.

And carefully eyeing the other bathroom in the basement. Usually as I am holding a notepad and a tape measure.

I think everything in this basement bathroom is from the Year 1, which in the case of my home means 1941. I need a new toilet (the old one leaks), a new sink (the old one has permanent stains), and some new flooring (ugly, yuck).

“Be careful,” my father warns. “It’s easy to spend $400 on a toilet.”

I’m hoping for a sale. Nothing can good come from spending $400 on a toilet – and in a household with kids, you cross your fingers that nothing good accidentally goes down that toilet either.

While I contemplate this remodel, I have been visiting Home Depot. And reading This Old House. And checking my favorite website Young House Love. And waiting for the paint to dry upstairs.

Nest building. It will be nice to make this home just a little bit more cozy to come home to once the school year starts back up.

I think this wall leading to the basement needs a splash of color to make a backdrop for family pictures.

Hmm, this wall leading to the basement needs a splash of color to make a backdrop for family pictures. Right?

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